Do you ever feel like your balancing on the most precarious of ledges....one slight mistep or flux of balance in either direction and you fall. The things that could force you to tumble off your ledge are not things large in nature, but so minute that sometimes, it can scare you. Sometimes I feel like the threads of my sanity are like that, Im not talking like white straight jacket meltdown. But an irrevocable topple that could shatter everything I've built up to keep my mind functioning. I feel like I've built a world, an existence in which I live. I've learned to keep people at a certain distance because in the end, they always wind up disappointing you. This may sound like the ramblings of a jaded and cynical shrew, but get hurt enough times.... Have your trust, your heart, your loyalty, your soul thrown back in your own face enough times, and you too may see my point. This is a fate I however wish upon no one. So I go through my day to day life, keeping what I hold most dear to me as close as I can. Trying to keep as far from the ledge as possible.
PS...If anyone actually reads this, please note Im not a lunatic...Im just feeling a little sorry for myself and fell I can let it out here and not be judged. thats the lovely thing of the internet :)